you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
