Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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