Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
