I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
