So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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