well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
