Betty ford says i'm here all night
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
