you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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