I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
