is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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