I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
