dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
