I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
