What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
