My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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