We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
