Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
