yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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