I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize