I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize