You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
