so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
