id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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