Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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