Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
