Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
