I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
