i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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