i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
