he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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