her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize