It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
