so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
