If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Where are you guys?
Drunk
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
