I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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