I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
