dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
