im six kinds of drunk right now
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Randomize
