READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
