so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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