Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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