No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
