dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize