your parents love me but you hate me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
