Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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