If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
