Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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