I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
