I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Randomize
