She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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