remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
