you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Everything about him screamed your future.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
