; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
