You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
