Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Randomize
