a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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