Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
