So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize