We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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