Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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