Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
